


Date Night

by hummingbirdswords



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 01:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4001539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hummingbirdswords/pseuds/hummingbirdswords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ve got a date to get to,” she said aloud, forcing herself to sit up and look in the mirror. She didn’t want to feel sadness before her date, didn’t want to think the thoughts that kept trying to ruin the happiness she felt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at some angst for Doctor Mechanic Ansgt Day. 
> 
> (I'm predominantly a fluff and smut writer, but I thought I'd give this a try.)

“Slow down, would you,” Octavia said from the other side of the kitchen island.

 

Raven continued shoveling the yellow rice into her mouth, her brown eyes lifting from the plate of dinner that had been put in front of her only three minutes ago but was already missing half of its food.

 

“You’re supposed to chew your food before you swallow it.”

 

“Runnin’ late,” she mumbled around a bite of chicken. “Got a hot date to get to,” she added after swallowing, winking.

 

Octavia’s eyes softened a little, and she looked like she was going to say something. But she didn’t. It was for the best. The last time Raven was running late for one of her dates with Abby, Octavia had said, “Abby’s not going anywhere,” and there had been too much regret in her friend’s eyes, too much pain in Raven’s heart.

 

Raven ate her dinner, thanked her best friend - not just for cooking, but for all her help - and then grabbed her bag and car keys.

 

“Cece,” Raven called out, checking her hair in the mirror by the door. The dark brown curls were loose and neat, and a small smile appeared on her lips because she knew Abby would love it. “Cece,” she called again. “Valencia, come give Mama a hug and kiss. I’m running late.”

 

Loud footsteps filled her ears as her six-year old came rushing down the stairs. She spun around, her smile growing to a big grin as the girl flung herself from the last step and into Raven’s awaiting arms. She scooped up the small child and pressed kisses all over her face, making Valencia squeal and squirm in Raven’s arms. It filled her body with so much joy being able to hear that every day, being able to hold on to her.

 

“Mama! You’re getting my face all wet,” she said through giggles, and Raven laughed and gave her daughter’s light brown cheek a big kiss. “Mama!” she squealed, wiggling out of Raven’s arms and sliding down to the floor.

 

Raven grinned at her little munchkin, reaching down to tuck silky locks behind her ear. “That should last you until I pick you up from school tomorrow.”

 

“Tomorrow?” she asked with a pout, her dark eyes rounding.

 

Raven nodded, sighing as she squatted down so she was face to face with her daughter. “You know Auntie Octavia stays with you Sundays so your mom and I can have our special date nights, and then you’ll be off at school with your friends, having a fun day without me. But I’ll be there waiting for you with as many kisses as you want when that bell rings.”

 

Valencia, who preferred CeCe, which was okay with Raven even though Abby had picked out Valencia, sighed out a breath. “As many kisses as I want?” she repeated with a bit of disbelief.

 

Raven’s lips quirked into a smirk, and she pulled the girl closer to her and planted three fast kisses on her cheek. “As many as you want,” she declared. “Say the number and it’s yours.” When her daughter opened her mouth to speak, Raven tapped her small pink lips with her finger. “What have I taught you about making big decisions, baby?”

 

Valencia sighed again. “Always take my time.”

 

“Good girl,” Raven exclaimed as she stood up, straightening out her top. “If you decide right away, you don’t give yourself the time to think about better options.”

 

Valencia bobbed her small head, having heard it many times before. Raven stole one more hug from her daughter and then left, getting excited once again about her date with Abby.

 

* * *

 

Raven put the car in park and took the key out of the ignition. Her stomach felt heavy, like there were rocks piling up in there. Despite arriving ten minutes later than she wanted, she stayed sitting in the car. She closed her eyes tight and drew in a large breath, letting it fill her lungs and burn her chest.

 

_Abby’s waiting for you._

 

Raven exhaled shakily, feeling a rush emotions that she thought she should be used to by now. Yet every Sunday before her date she sat in her car, eyes squeezed tight as she fought back tears.

 

_Abby’s waiting for you._

 

“You’ve got a date to get to,” she said aloud, forcing herself to sit up and look in the mirror. She didn’t want to feel sadness before her date, didn’t want to think the thoughts that kept trying to ruin the happiness she felt.

 

She would not cry!

 

Her wife was waiting.

 

* * *

 

 

Raven let her bag slide down from her arm and onto the armchair. “I brought Casablanca,” Raven announced as she opened up her bag. “I know I said last time that I’d make you watch something full of gore because I’ve been spoiling you with all these classics, but--” Raven shrugged her shoulders, a smile playing at her lips. “I enjoy making you happy too much to do that. So Casablanca it is.”

 

She recalled watching it for the first time with Abby. Oh, how long ago that was. It had been the first night she went to Abby’s house, and Abby had spent most of the night watching Raven instead of the movie. It still brought a smile to her face thinking about it now.

 

Raven turned around with the movie in her hand, facing her wife.

 

That heavy feeling in her stomach that she felt in the car was finally starting to go away as she let her eyes trail over Abby’s body.

 

When these Sunday night dates started two years ago, Raven couldn’t look at Abby without biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. Now...

 

“Someone’s looking beautiful tonight,” Raven said as she crossed the room. “And I’m not just talking about myself,” she added in a teasing whisper as she leaned down to her wife’s face. “So beautiful that I think I need to give you an extra-long kiss today.”

 

Her lips pressed to Abby’s forehead, her eyes falling shut as she reveled in the feeling of her wife’s skin against her lips. A week was too long to go without this.

 

When she pulled back, she nibbled on her bottom lip and brought her hand to Abby’s cheek. Her finger brushed against tubing, but she ignored it and focused on the smooth skin she carefully caressed.

 

“I hope you haven’t missed me as much as I’ve missed you.”

 

Raven’s eyes moved over to the machine she stood beside, only glancing at it quickly before turning back to Abby.

 

“God have I missed you,” she whispered so very softly, hoping her voice didn’t shake too much.

 

* * *

 

 

Raven still couldn’t say the word.

 

_Coma._

 

It had been two years since the accident that put Abby in the bed, but no amount of time would be enough for her brain to fully wrap around the fact that her wife wasn’t coming home to her at the end of the day.

 

Nobody else said it, either.

 

It was like her friends and family were afraid she would break if they did.

 

She wouldn’t.

 

Or at least she told them she wouldn’t.

 

It was hard to break when you were already broken.

 

When Clarke broke the news to her, she had shattered.

 

There was no more breaking to be done.

 

Now she fought, fought to have her wife come back to her.

 

* * *

 

 

She’d have to thank Jackson the next time she saw him. The chair that used to be in Abby’s room was old and uncomfortable, and after waking up feeling sore one too many times, she had asked him if there were any other options. She hadn’t wanted to ask for too much - allowing her to spend the night once a week was already a big deal, and she knew it was only allowed because a lot of strings had been pulled because Abby was a well-loved and respected doctor. But Jackson was a sweetheart, and he had replaced the chair with a much more comfortable seat that didn’t make her ache.

 

“One day you’re gonna have to tell me why you love this movie so much,” Raven said to Abby, turning away from the television and to her wife.

 

 _One day_.

 

She sighed, but quickly turned her lips up into a smile as she brought Abby’s hand up to her mouth. She’d read a lot about communicating with comatose patients. There had been a lot of mixed information, but the one thing they all had thought was important was touching. Raven made sure to let Abby feel her as much as she could, always holding on to her wife’s hand or pressing gentle kisses to her head.

 

After the first few months, Raven realized she didn’t care much about what any of those people had to say, though. A lot of the advice given didn’t seem all that useful.

 

None of them knew Abby.

 

None of them knew how much of a fighter she was for those she loved.

 

Raven knew that Abby was going to push through, that she could hear Raven talking to her, that she knew that Raven was still there and would be waiting for as long as it took.

 

Raven knew that her love for Abby would get them both through this.

 

That was all she needed to know.

 

* * *

There was a routine she had been following for the last two years, one similar to the one she used to watch before Abby’s accident.

 

She brushed Abby’s hair, gentle strokes from her scalp to the ends. It was graying at the temple, and although she knew Abby would hate it, Raven loved it. It reminded her long it had been since they first met, nearly fourteen years.

 

She washed Abby’s face. She took her time with this. She used to lay awake in the middle of the night sometimes and trace the shadowy lines of her wife’s face in the dark, her fingertips sometimes reaching over to draw invisible lines on her warm skin. Now she spent nights holding on to a pillow that no longer smelled like Abby, pretending she could feel the other woman in her arms. That was the only time she really allowed herself to fully break down and cry.

 

She changed her own shirt from whatever cute top she’d picked out for Abby and to one of her tank tops. Abby loved the way her biceps flexed, loved the color of her skin when she came in from being out in the sun for hours. On Sundays she wore Abby’s favorites, always.

 

And after she cleaned up, she turned on the classical music playlist on her phone and put it down on the little nightstand. Raven hated classical music before she met Abby. But Abby hummed and closed her eyes and looked so beautiful when she let the music fill her soul. Raven sat down in her chair, wrapped her hand around Abby’s, and she hummed while keeping her eyes on Abby’s closed ones. She could almost imagine it was just like it used to be.

 

Almost.

 

* * *

 

 

Raven woke up with her fingers still tangled with her wife’s. She didn’t open her eyes. She hated this part, waking up next to Abby and knowing she wouldn’t be met with a warm smile and sleepy brown eyes.

 

She missed the small things like that even more when she visited Abby, missed the sound of the older woman’s husky voice in her ear as she told her it was time for them to get out of bed.

 

She missed the way Abby’s cold toes would brush against her bare legs and she’d shiver, pushing the other woman’s feet far away from her while pulling her face closer. What she would give to feel that again, to have the uncomfortable chill travel across her body from the smallest contact.

 

Raven’s eyes squeezed tighter, the familiar tingle of tears behind her eyelids as she pressed her palm tighter into Abby’s.

 

You are strong, she said in her head, a reminder she so often had to give herself. She didn’t feel it like she used to; she felt broken and lost. She felt more like a child than she did when she was young and full of the strength she now had to fake more than she ever had before.

 

“Hope is everything,” Raven whispered, words that Abby had spoken aloud so many times that Raven knew better than to believe anything else. She brushed her lips over Abby’s knuckles, still refusing to open her eyes, not wanting to see the machines nor tubes her wife was hooked up to. With her eyes still closed, she could just have Abby as she was before all of this, have Abby as she would one day in the future. “I have so much hope, Abby. So much,” she whispered like a promise.

 

Abby would come back to her.

 

The tears she was trying to hold back leaked from her eyes, and she wiped furiously at her face with the hand that wasn’t holding on to Abby. She wasn’t supposed to cry, especially not where Abby could see. She didn’t want Abby to worry about her.

 

“I love you,” she said fiercely, squeezing Abby’s hand. “I love you more and more each day. I know you can hear me.” She sniffed and pulled in a breath. “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

 

* * *

Raven could hear the school bell ring from inside her car. She wiped her hands across her face and got out when the kids starting leaving the school with their teachers. Monday afternoons were the hardest on Raven. She wanted to stay with Abby all day, but she knew she had to leave. Their daughter needed her mothers, and until Abby could be there, Raven promised herself to be the best goddamn mother she could be for the both of them. Of course that was the plan all along, but it took on a different meaning to her when she was doubling up on the love because she knew Abby would want to smother their little one in it.

 

When Valencia searched for Raven, the brunette waved widely with her hands, her smile big and bright. Her daughter’s entire face lit up when she spotted her, and Raven’s heart melted. Abby had kissed her belly many times while she was pregnant, whispering how much she loved their daughter, how happy they were all going to be. When Raven opened her arms and Valencia bounced up into them, she squeezed her tight and pressed her lips to dark hair.

 

“This one’s from mom,” Raven whispered, and a part of her wanted to break and smile at the same time when Valencia wrapped her arms tighter around her.


End file.
